a bet tha
luks gud on a pushbike
A bet tha luks gud on a pushbike
Cyclin up ar street, to meet me
A treat ad like
But av got t'keep mi fantasies t'mi sen
and not be rash
An keep mi passions all discreet
Cos ar know yer fellers a winder cleanin
killer
He's a winder cleanin killer, that's
right
Ar bet thad luk gud on a pushbike or a
bairn's trike cyclin up ar street
Ar bet thad luk gud on mi bathroom floor
But in the dark wi the lights art
Cos yer skins the colour of a Spectrum
rubber keyboard circa 1984
A bet thad luk gud on mi bathroom floor
Yeah a bet yer would
A bet thad luk gud on a pushbike
Cyclin up ar street
T'meet yer druggie feller, sithi
T'score, he's bin on incapacity benefit
since 1984
Yer fingers are frozen
Get some gloves!
Yer fingers are frozen
Get some gloves!
Yer fingers are frozen
Get some gloves!
Yer fingers are frozen
Ee yer frozzen, yer fingers are frozzen
Ar bet thad luk gud on a pushbike
Cyclin up ar street, to meet me, a treat
ad like
But av gorra keep mi fantasies t'mi sen
an not bi rash
An keep mi passions all discreet
Cos a know yer fellers a winder cleanin
killer
He's a winder cleanin killer
And your skin's the colour of a Spectrum
rubber keyboard in abart 1984. |
|
brianglover
"What's tha think thi ar Artex, an
ape?
All tha need nar's a banana
- that's my contribution" [Andy]
Brian Glover
Yer know there'll never bi another
Brian Glover
There'll never bi another
He might bi dead, but am not
He might bi dead, but am not
Oh a'll give you a sample of mi skills
A'll give you a sample of mi skills
A'll give you a sample of mi skills
A rare delight
A rare delight
The night is young...
And a live on the edge
The edge of Barnsley
A live on the edge
The edge of Barnsley
Oh Brian Glover, he strikes agen
An early bath for you
Get darn befoor a come an put yer darn
Got a sweat on Casper?
8 miles high, Royston High
A said 8 miles, Royston High
Set fire to the wheelie bin
Burn it out and breathe it in
A said set fire to the wheelie bin
A said burn it out and breathe it in
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Breathe it in
Get ready, you're 2 weeks late already
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the
other
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the
other
Slack work lad, slack work
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the
other
Brian Glover, look one way and kick the
other
Look one way and kick the other
Brian Glover, oh he strikes agen
Yeah Brian, he strikes agen
Keep art er trouble lad
And that boys is how to take a penalty |
|
jam
sanwidge
Here comes the jam sanwidge
Here comes the jam sanwidge
We're in Sheffield on a stag do
The Barnsley Barmy Army
On a balmy summer night
Yeah we're the Barmy Barnsley Army
An wi ar lukkin for a fight
Wi shartin "Barnsley! Barnsley!
Barnsley! Barnsley! Barnsley! Barnsley!
Wi ar the Barnsley Barmy Army!"
The next thing wi know thez a gang er
lads at t'end er t'street
We're shartin at em an sure enough wi
meet up
And then thez punches an then thez kicks
And then the heads ar bein stamped on
An thez blood bein spilled on the
deserted precinct
Then one of arz gets punched through a
shop winder
An alarms ar gooin off and wi can hear
the sirens an sure enough
Here comes a jam sanwidge
Here comes a jam sanwidge
We're all cuffed an chucked in t'back
But as Frankie used t'say yer can chain a
dog t'railings but yer carn't stop it
barkin
So on t'way back t'cop shop we wer all
singing
Yeah we wer all singing
Yeah singing "Barnsley Barmy Army!
We're the Barnsley Barmy Army! We're the
Barnsley Barmy Army! We're the Barnsley
Barmy Army!"
Yeah yer can never stop us
Yer can lock us up, yeah yer can lock us
up
But we're the barmy, we're the Barnsley
Barmy Army |
|
my
english dream
They told mi at school that a'd never
play fer England, but then again neither
did Jimmy Greenhoff...
Am gunna watch it on mi own
Am gonna watch it all alone
Am gonna walk on into the English World
Cup dream
A 'ear em cheerin darn at t'Pack
A shut the winder an a turn mi back
Cos am gonna walk on
Into mi English World Cup dream
This is my England, England, England
This is my England, England, England
1, 2, 3, 4
We're here today an gone tomorra
An yes parting/losing is such sweet and
bitter sorra
But am gonna walk on
Into mi English World Cup dream
An if am art er mi mind
Then that's alreight wi me
Cos am gonna walk on
Into mi English World Cup dream
This is my England, England, England
This is my England, England, England
This is my England, England, England
My English dream. |
|
running
shoes
Put on yer running shoes
Wi gooin up t'muckstack
An when wi get t'top
Yeah wi're gunna run reight back
Yeah there in't no point to it
But there in't much point t'owt rarnd ere
Put on mi running gear
Gives me thrills in mi Ronny Hills yeah
An wi beg, steal an borrer
Just t'get through today
It'll bi better tomorrer
All the fuckin idiots say
It's like Sodam and Gomorrer
On bad day rarnd ere
Put on yer running gear
Wi gooin up the muckstack yeah
Wi gonna run t'top
An wi gunna run reight back
yeah run reight back run run
An yer all fuckin slaves
As far as a can see
An when am up t'muckstack
Yeah that's pretty far
A dun't quite know t'distance but am sure
it's pretty far
A dun't know t'distance but a know it's
far
Yeah give em a crate er alcopops an a
trip t'the shops
An the'll bi no revolution rarnd ere
Put on yer running gear
Get mi thrills in mi Ronny Hills
Well yer say want a revelation
Then bin yer Playstation an look art a
winder
It in't darntarn Manhatten it's bloody
Royston Park
Bloody Royston Park yeah it's bloody
Royston Park
Answer the call, burn darn mederall
Or at least if tha guz
Then piss in that stupid fuckin fountain
thing
Ar'll run for Royston
Ar'd run for South Yorksher
But a wun't run for England
Cos England in't mine
It mighnt bi yewers
But it in't mine
Keep on dreamin yeah you keep on dreaming
an a'll keep on running
An a'll see yer up t'muckstack mebbi
later |
|
stolen:
hairspray an a bag er nappies
There's allus an ex-boyfriend who's a bit
ov a git
He knows it's over still he's clingin
like shit to the hairs on yer arse
He just carn't get it thru
There's still a me, but no longer a you
Yes I said there's still a me, but no
longer a you
An ar said
You were engaged
You called off the weddin
But still he clings
Oh Christ that bastard does yer ed in
Stolen: hairspray an a bag er nappies
Did yer really need the nappies anyway?
The judge'll bi glad to see yer go
He's sick er the bloody sight er yer
He really is
[yodel bit...]
Up at the Co-Op at quarter to four
You've stuff up yer jumper when yer get
t'the door
An your ex is waitin wi the arm an the
law
As he carries yer off screaming yer shart
"What the fuck yer done that
for?!"
Yer were engaged, oh you called off the
weddin an he's got yer nicked
Christ that bastard does yer ed in
With yer bag er nappes, stolen hairspray
Did you really need the hairspray anyway?
The judge'll bi glad t'see yer go
He's sick er the bloody sight er yer
[yodel bit...]
Artside er t'magistrate's at quarter
passed two
He's shoutin he's sorry an that he still
luvs you
He'll pay for the court costs
He'll put to the fine
As soon as he gets shut er that last job
lot of wine
Yeah as soon as he gets shut er that last
job lot of wine
Oh thas such a prick, thas such a fuckin
loser
Alreight fair enough al tell thi what al
sithi later darn the boozer
Wi mi stolen hairspray and mi bag er
nappies
Ar can shift the hairspray anyday
An if tha sees the judge then say
"hello"
"Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello, hello, hello"
If yer see the judge then say
"hello"
I'll bi seein him soon
When ar swore on oath ar woz only
pretendin you know
When ar swore on oath ar woz only
pretendin you know
When ar swore on oath ar woz only
pretendin you know
When ar said ad become a better citizen
Ar woz only pretendi you know
When ar said ad never do it agen
Ar woz only pretendin you know
When ar said ad never do it agen ...only
pretendin you know |
|
t'view
from t'muckstack
Perspiration am swettin like a pig
Just watch mi go
Ar don't give two frigs
Antiperspirant has a nasty habit of
giving mi a rash
Ar don't care cos toneet am gunna av a
tonne er cash
Am gunna gerrart er this tarn toneet
so you can all goo an shite
Yes you can all goo an shite
Perspiration av been swettin like a pig
Av got mi ticket, av got mi beer n mi
cigs
Am swettin f'blind fotty
When it cums up the lot er yer can goo an
jump
Yer can goo an jump
Goo an jump in t'res
Ar won't bi lukkin back yeah
Ar won't bi lukkin back
An mi council flat'll all be behind mi
like a bad dream
Mi council flat'll bi all bi behind mi
like a bad dream
Cos I won't bi surprised when mi numbers
come up
Cos I know ther cumin toneets the neet
Come on lad
So before yer start gi'in it sum
Yer shud bare it in mind that mi numbers
are cumin up luv
So before yer start gi'in it sum
Yer shud bare it in mind that mi numbers
are cumin up
Am gunna bi er king er the muckstack
toneet luv
King er the muckstack toneet luv
So dun't bi textin
Coz even if I had a mobile it wun't bi on
Perspiration am swettin like a pig
Perspiration ar dun't give a frig
Perspiration am swettin like a pig
Perspiration am swettin like a pig
Antiperspirant gives mi a nasty rash
A don't care cos toneet am gunna av a
load er cash |
|
despair
in the wallace arnold coach park
Av got a little piece of blackpool rock
A keep it underneath mi bed
The officer sed "am sorry cock, av
come to tell thi that thi fatha's
dead."
And re-runs of The Likely Lads are never
gonna bring im back
After a fashion wi scattered his ashes up
on Carlton muckstack
Up at the coach car park at half seven it
was still dark
And in the orange glow of the street
light a could see 'is stupid grin
As that Wallace Arnold coach pulled in
Well it's the Golden Mile ere wi come
It's pop an crisps all the way
"Ee it's alreight for sum!" a
can still 'ear mi mother say
Lots of slots an chips an sands
An mi fatha ad mi by the 'and
Ee they were just like pit shuvvels
Burra luvved im that day
An now as am up at t'graveyard
An am hunched over 'is marble plaque
Shiftin cig packets an leaves an that
A cud feel the weight of memories
Pushin over mi
Like one great big glacier
And they're crushin mi
A little piece of blackpool rock
I keep it underneath mi bed
The officer said "i'm sorry cock, av
come to tell thi that thi fatha's
dead." |
|
|
an
uncertain romance
Yer tell mi there's no romance around ere
An the working class are an ugly class
But av seen love
Av seen love luv
Av seen love
Av seen love
Now it might up agenst a lampost on a
Friday night
A bit of push an shove
But it's love oh yeah
It's love
It's, it's love luv
It's love luv
It's love luv
It's, it's really love
But the beauty is deep, oh it's bloody
deep
Yeah yer've got t'sink a shaft abart
three mile deep
But it's love
You'll find it
A tell yer it's love
A tell yer
Am tellin yer it's love luv
Yer tell mi there's no romance around ere
But am sure it's swimmin in a pint er
beer
Yeah a know it's love
Yeah a know it's love luv oh yeah
Well it mighnt bi in two dogs avvin a
shag
It mighnt bi in a Co-op carrier bag
But it's love
Oh yeah it's love
It's love
Yeah yeah yeah
It's really love
It mighnt bi in the shit on the end of mi
boot
It mighnt bi in the classified pages of
Loot
But it's love
Yeah it's love
It's love luv in't it
It's love, it's love, it's love
A can see that spot on yer arse in the
mirror on the ceilin
Yer know av got a very very very funny
feelin
It's love
Yeah a know it's really love
Oh it's love luv
Oh yeah oh it's really love
Yer mighnt wear dirty socks, a don't mind
Yer mighnt av egg on yer chin
But it's love
Yeah it's really love
It's love, it's really love
It's love, it's love, it's love
It's really love, it's love... |
|
the
fake tans of barnsley disco
The fake tans of Barnsley disco
Are all around the room
Av got t'drink mi cheap wine
An keep mi sun glasses on
All this yellowy orangy skin is mekkin me
feel ill
Am gonna chuck up
Get me art!
Get me art!
The fake tans of Barnsley disco
An all this bleach blonde hair
One comes up t'mi an sez that "you
dance nice"
Luv is blind, a mek up mi mind an tek me
gigs off
Bur a wish i an't dun coz she looks like
a bright yeller Frankinstine
Give mi that cheap wine
Get me er
Quick! Get mi the cheap wine quick!
Shiz like a big bottle er Sunny Delight
Am turning white
Am chuckin up
Get me art!
Get me art!
Yeah it's the fake tans of Barnsley disco
are all around the room
Crikey mi feet are stuck t'flewer
A carn't stand it any mewer
This girl sez am from Penistone
An av gorran 'orse an I eat garlic bread
A sez thaz more like thaz from Athersley
an thaz eating shit in a shed in't it luv
The fake tans of Barnsley disco an all
the bleach blonde hair
I said fake tans of... |
|
leave
before the last bus has gone
Am up at t'Arches
Am up at t'Arches
At top end er town
Yeah am up at t'Arches
Am up at t'Arches
At top end er town
Am drownin' mi sorrows
Sat on mi own
Her beer's still ere
But my bird has flown... away
So ar...
A think a'll leave before the last bus
has gone
Cos a dun't want ter walk home tonight
A dun't want ter get in no fight
Oh
A think a'll leave before the last bus
has gone
A carn't afoord a cab
A can just abart afoord a kebab or chips
Or chips
A kebab or chips
Yeah
Am up at t'Arches
Am up at t'Arches
At top end er town
Yeah
Am up at t'Arches
Am up at t'Arches
At top end er town
And the band is still playin'
But am not really listenin'
Mi night has bin shat on
Mi sink has bin pissed in
Pissed in, oh...
So yer know what?
A think a think a'll leave befoor the
last bus has gone
Cos a don't want ter walk home tonight
A dun't want ter get in no fight
Yeah a think a'll leave before the last
bus has gone
A an't gorrenuff for a cab
A cud just abart afoord a kebab or chips
Or chips
A kebab or chips
The bus has gone
The crossing's down
Will i ever leave this town?
The bus has gone
The crossing's down
Will i ever leave this town?
Yeah the bus has gone
The crossing's down
Am never gonna leave this town
Yeah the bus has gone
The crossing's down
Never gonna leave this town |
|
morngy
get
Nar then morngy get, it's yer hormones
again in't it?
Worav a dun nar
Ar an't bin near yer car
So av ad a few beers
An av chucked up on the train
An ruined mi slacks
An what's wrong wi that?
So lets av a cuddle in the kitchen like
before
Yeah nar then morngy get, it's yer
hormones again in't it?
Please put down the knife
Tha wants lockin up, yer really do!
Thaz effin mad
An thaz not rate in the head
But let's av a little kiss
Yer morngy get
Ok let's av a kiss
Ok, a smell a bit of sick an piss
But come on just a little peck
Like, it were better two weeks ago
When we et biscuits from the barrel Like
love ad just begun
An ad a cuddle an a laugh dint we?
So come on morngy get
Lets have a cuddle in the kitchen
Were not quite over yet
On Wakefield Road the bus gor all jammed
up
Please don't throw that cup
Now yer a
Now yer a pain in the arse
You've turned ower life into a farce
An yev got the monk on. |
|
scummy
van
Who's that woman there?
Standin artside Ring o' Bells
Dressed in 'er underwear
Shiz bangin on the windowpane
And no one seems t'care
Is it the ghost of mi nan?
Oh what a scummy van
Am only shiftin worthless tat
That used t'bi mi nans
Pewter pots an knick-knacks
An a porclin bed-pan
But that smell is offensive
She was roamin the streets on a night
So we put 'er in an home
At the time it seemed right
With a colostomy bag, don’t yer know
With a colostomy bag, don’t yer know
An although am trying not t'listen
T'all voices telling mi that wi did wrong
Ar din't put up much opposition
An one month later, well, mi nan was gone
Ar knew somethin
Ar knew somthin wi the van was dodgy
Ar knew somethin was not quite right
When ar saw 'er sat beside me
You know I filled mi pants up wi shite
Now, ev'rynight she turns up
When the sun goes down
In't that weird
Yeah now she turns up ev'ry night
When the sun goes down
In't it wierd
In't it weird
In't it weird
Ar said wi cun't afford to risk it
You know we were doing it f'your own good
A said wi cun't afford to risk it
You know we were only doin it f'your own
good
But she were just nibblin on a biscuit
Sat in a trance starin into space
She's delighted when she sees him
A ginger moggy artside her old front
dewer
Inside the car its fuckin freezin
Even tho av got the heating on up full
bewer
Now ev'rynight she turns up when the sun
goes down
Yeah ev'rynight she turns up when the sun
goes down
In't it weird
Ev'rynight she turns up
Ev'rynight when the sun goes down
In't it weird
When the sun goes down
What a scummy van
It in't no way to treat
the treasured posessions er mi nan
I can see it in 'er eyes that she's not
mi biggest fan
I'd rather av not got involved... |
|
thers
gunna bi an alo ovver barnsley toneet
It's rainin artside a dun't know what
neet it is. Wensdy a think. Not long nar
is it? Just a few days. Am gunna try an
get this track art. Gerrit t'thi like.
It's abart y'know, it's abart, well...
Thers gunna bi an alo ovver Barnsley
toneet
Yeah thers people gunna bi dancin an
cavortin in the street
Cos a know them lads ar gunna gi us all a
little treat
Cos Barnsley's gooin up
Yeah Barnsley's gooin up
Ar can feel it in mi watter
Yeah a know thers gunna bi an alo ovver
Barnsley toneet
An er, an it's gunna shine like a light
T'guide us om from sum forin land
An if a throw up in t'cat tray then a
know mi mam'll understand
Cos Barnsley's gooin up
Yeah Barnsley's gooin up
Ar can feel it in mi watter
Ar can feel it in mi watter
Yeah thers gunna bi an alo ovver Barnsley
toneet
An if a get wasted an appen t'fall at sum
policeman's feet
Well a know if am all D an D an that
A know he'll forgive mi like
Cos Barnsley's gooin up - that's right
Barnsley's gooin up
A can feel it in mi watter
Yeah thers gunna bi an alo ovver Barnsley
toneet
Yeah thers gunna bi dancin an cavortin in
t'street like
An a dun't really care where a get mi
seet
Cos thers gunna bi an alo ovver tarn hall
toneet
It's gunna bi bright red en all
Come on lads
A dun't care if am near corner flag
A dun't mind if am any wheer
A'll goo any wheer, t'top, t'middle,
t'back
A dun't mind
An if tha sees mi grandmother tell her a
luv her
Thers gunna bi an alo ovver Barnsley
toneet
Cos wi dun know words like loser, gutted
or defeat
Wi gunna taste victory an it's gunna
taste so sweet
Cos Barnsley's gooin up - come on you
reds
A said now Barnsley's gooin up - come on
Barnsley's gooin up
A can feel it in mi watter |
|
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